Spawn Of Brangelina

So the world's most beautiful, talented, altruistic couple have finally given birth to their long-awaited twins--no, we're not due until Dec/January, remember? Rather, Brad and Angelina welcomed Knox and Vivienne into the world today from a seaside hospital in Nice, on the French Riviera. A C-section was required, and the twins were born a minute apart. As expected, there's already an insane bidding war amongst the tabloid dirtbags on who will claim the first snapshots of the youngsters--but have no fear, loyal readers: our photos will be frequent and many, and won't cost you a dime...