Just an addendum to Robert's little account of our last class, I must say I feel much better about labour and giving birth knowing that the pharmaceutical industry is firmly on my side.
First stage pain? How about some Demerol? No thanks, the last time I was given that I puked like a co-ed on a bender. Morphine? Now that's more like it!
Pain getting worse? Here dear, have some nitrous oxide. Actually, no -- the lovely Win told us that the wonderful stuff you get at the dentist's, otherwise known as laughing gas, isn't really used in the course of labour anymore. Too bad -- I was thinking that it might be fun to run off my favourite Dennis Hopper lines from "Blue Velvet," since I'll probably be swearing up a storm anyway.
Then there's the ultimate: the epidural. A little tube into your spinal area (not the cord per se, but the epidural space nearby) that will completely numb from the waist down. Yes, I'll be bedridden. No, I won't feel the contractions and I'll have to be told when to push. Yes, I'll have to have a catheter inserted so my bladder can be kept emptied. But... no pain! And at the most intense time! I'm positively giddy with anticipation. Remember people, I gotta do all that stuff twice in a row, if indeed we are going to deliver the old-fashioned way, so yes. Please give me drugs. I won't object. Do it as soon as you think it's necessary. Thanks!